Wedding RSVPs – How to Politely Ask the Guests If They’re Coming to Your Wedding

Getting back RSVPs for wedding invitations in a timely manner is an essential component of the wedding planning process.

A lot is going on with wedding planning! But first, you have to find a venue, get the perfect dress, and send out all of those invitations.

You need to know how many people are coming to plan accordingly with your vendors, primarily the venue and caterer. Your best friend here will be your returned RSVP reply cards.

Wedding RSVPs

The earlier a guest replies, the better off you’ll be because it’ll give you time to make necessary adjustments before the big day arrives!

But what if your wedding RSVPs are overdue, and you didn’t hear back yet?

You’ll need to contact each non-responder personally.

Even if you’re irritated by now, you should be courteous while asking them whether they’ll be attending your wedding.

When Should Wedding RSVPs Be Due?

When setting the due date for RSVPs, remember that you want a minimum of two weeks after getting them back in order to finalize your guest list and provide an accurate count for your wedding venue and caterer.

(French expression derived from)

Répondez s’il vous plaît

Therefore, we recommend requesting that RSVPs be returned by six to eight weeks before your wedding date so that you have abundant time for planning purposes.

Set a specific date on which all replies must be received — this will help keep your guests accountable and ensure that everyone responds in a timely manner.

Why Don’t People Rsvp For Weddings?

You might be tempted to make assumptions about why someone didn’t RSVP yet, but try not to jump ahead of yourself.

People are busy these days.

They may not have the time, procrastinate, or in rare cases ignore your invitation!

More than often, they simply forgot! If any the case, you’ll want to send them a friendly reminder.

If you don’t hear back after a polite follow-up, then it’s safe to assume they’re not coming, and you can cross them off your list.

When Should You Remind Your Wedding Guests To RSVP?

If you have a more formal or traditional wedding, wait for one to two weeks after your deadline to start reminding your guests to RSVP. At this time, sort your guest list them into those who have and have not responded.

How To Remind Guest To RSVP For Your Wedding

Find the best channel of communication for each guest to be sure they will see your follow-ups.

Since there may be a mixture of age groups attending your wedding, it’s best to have several ways to reach them. Different generations respond to each approach differently.

Reminders should be sent through email, texting, or automated notifications from your wedding website, and in some cases, by traditional snail mail.

However, getting in touch with stragglers by phone is still the best approach.

In addition, involve your parents and have them reach out to the guests they invited. And as bride and groom, reach out respectively to your half of the family and friends you are connected to.

Remember, if you contact them personally and still don’t get a response regarding their attendance at your wedding—you should move on.

Wedding RSVPs

Wedding RSVPs Reminder Sample Messages

nice way to say please rsvp

“Hi, ____! We hope you are doing great! Just wanted to make sure you had a chance to see our wedding invitation and RSVP. The deadline is coming up soon, so if you haven’t already, please let us know if you’re able to come or not. Thanks!”

“Hello ____, I hope everything is well. We’re having a lot of fun planning our wedding and wanted to check in to see if you had time for the RSVP deadline. If not, I hope we can keep in touch!”

“Hi ___! Hope you are doing well! Just checking in on the RSVP for our wedding…We’d love to hear from you soon.”

“Hi, there! I hope you had a chance to see our wedding invitation and RSVP. The deadline is coming up soon, so if you haven’t already, please let me know if you’re able to come or not.”

“Dear ____, we hope all is well. We’ve been looking forward to your reply to the RSVP. As a reminder, the deadline is coming up soon.”

“Hi ____! We hope you’re doing well. Just wanted to remind you that the RSVP deadline is coming up soon, and we would love to hear from you.”

“Hey there, ____! I hope everything is good with you. Wanted to make sure you saw our wedding invitation and RSVP accordingly. If not, no worries; just let us know, and we can update things. Thanks!”

“Dear ____, wedding planning is in full swing, and we’re so excited! Just wanted to make sure you saw our invitation and will be able to come. If not, please let us know soon.”

“Hey, ____! How are you doing? Just wanted to see if you had a chance to look at our wedding invitation and RSVP. We need them back soon so we can plan accordingly with the venue.”

How To Respond To A No RSVP

If you never hear back from some of your prospective guests and your final guarantees are due for the caterer and wedding venue, you still need to reach out one last time.

Let them know politely that you would, unfortunately, count them as a no if you don’t hear from them.

This reach-out should be personalized and polite, expressing your excitement for them to attend while giving them a final date by which they need to respond.

It’s just part of the wedding planning process since you have to keep moving.

How to politely ask the guest if they are coming

No Response – Final Notice Examples:

Dear “…..”,

We hope you are doing well and had a chance to see our wedding invitation and follow-up. Unfortunately, we have not received your RSVP yet.

We are due to submit our final numbers on “date” to our wedding venue and caterer but more than that would love for you to be able to join us on our big day.

Unfortunately, if we do not hear from you by then, we will have to count you as not attending. We hope, of course, that this is not the case and look forward to hearing from you shortly.

Fondly, Bride & Groom (Your Names)


Dear “…..”,

It was great to see you last ….. and we hope all is well. We were so excited when we sent you our wedding invitation. Unfortunately, we have not yet heard back from you about whether or not you will be able to join us on our big day.

We are due to submit our final numbers to our wedding venue and caterer on “date” but would love for you to be able to attend.

If we do not hear from you by August ….. , 20…, we would, unfortunately, have to count you as a no.

Naturally, we hope this is not the case and look forward to hearing from you before the deadline.

Sincerely, Bride & Groom (Your Names)

Wedding RSVPs

What Makes RSVPs So Important For Weddings?

It can be a continuous game of cat and mouse chasing after your wedding guests while attempting to update your inquiring wedding vendors who require a guest count.

In addition, you want to finalize your seating chart and layout the final floorplan. Plus you don’t want to deal with the uncertainty of the final bill due to unresponsiveness.

Many venues and caterers have a minimum or a maximum number of guests to reserve the space or prepare the food, and you want to stay on target.

There may be a surcharge for each last-minute guest added due to union staff rules at the venue.

And if you are going over the venue’s capacity limit, there may be extra costs for the additional work and labor fees necessary to accommodate everyone.

If, however, it turns out you are below the required contracted minimum, you end up paying for cancellations after the final count is due and for no-shows.

Not having an exact count can be frustrating since it will set in motion domino effects that lead to other wedding-planning issues.

  • If you’re working on a tight budget, you’ll want to know precisely how many people you can expect to feed and entertain.
  • The final count will also directly affect additional costs, such as an extra table, centerpiece, rental chairs, rented tablecloth, napkins, rented glasses, and silverware, plus wedding favors.
  • If your guest count goes over a specific number, you may run out of physical space in the ballroom. Or, if you overestimated the attendance and guests decline in retrospect, your venue may become too large.
  • Your wedding venue and caterer will be eagerly awaiting your final count so they can plan the food, beverage, and service for your wedding day. Unfortunately, you will be held to a date when your solid headcount is due, and any additional guests after this date may not be guaranteed to be taken care of.
  • You may be required to submit your guests’ meal preferences (i.e., choice of fish and beef) to the caterer by a specific date. It’s in your best interest that everyone who comes has their meal covered!
  • Finalizing your seating chart without a close count can be difficult. You don’t want any empty seats staring back at you on your wedding day!

Final Thoughts

Wedding RSVPs can be a little bit of a headache, but with a little planning and communication, you should be able to handle them without much trouble.

Just make sure to send out your invitations early enough that guests have plenty of time to respond, set a deadline for responses, and reach out politely if you don’t hear back.

Please remember that your wedding is about you and your fiance’ no matter what.

Yes, it’s nice to have all of your loved ones there to celebrate with you, but if someone can’t make it for whatever reason, don’t fret!

There are many other things to enjoy on your big day.

Wedding RSVPs
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