Post-Wedding Depression: When The Blues Set In after the Big Day
Planning a wedding can be incredibly stressful. From the moment you get engaged, there is pressure to make everything flawless.
The strain of creating the “perfect” wedding can cause post-wedding depression for newlyweds, including anxiety, exhaustion, and regrets after getting married.
Although it is important to enjoy the process of planning your wedding, don’t forget to focus on what comes after the big day.
This blog post will explore common triggers that cause post-wedding blues and discuss ways to alleviate them.
As you are planning your wedding, it comes with the territory to follow a well-planned wedding timeline to keep you on schedule to create the wedding of your dreams.
Yet, your timeline comes to an abrupt end the day after your wedding when you are no longer on a timeline at all.
Event planning is an intense experience where you constantly make decisions, manage your wedding budget, and keep track of deadlines.
It can be jarring when the wedding is over to suddenly have no event to plan and no decisions to make.
You may find yourself adrift and at a loss without the planning span structure.
Nevertheless, it is time to relax and transition into your own post-wedding life. You do not need to find another wedding venue, plan menus, discuss and design centerpieces, find musicians, and plan logistics with your vendors any longer.
How to alleviate: Remember right from the start that your wedding is just one day. There are so many more new things to plan moving forward as a married couple!
You will quickly adapt and be able to move on from the post-wedding blues when you keep your focus on the future.
Worrying about the cost of your wedding after it’s over
Before the big day, couples spend months planning every last detail of their wedding, juggling vendors, budgeting for expenses, and dealing with family dynamics involved in the financial aspect.
In addition, some couples may find themselves on completely different pages regarding their financial responsibility.
This can often lead to pre-wedding stress and post-wedding remorse, and tiredness from not being prepared to deal with invoices piling up.
Depending on your personal situation, wedding costs range hugely and can average between $10K to $100K. So it’s essential to have a clear understanding of your financial responsibilities from the get-go so that there are no surprises once the fun is over and you are looking at your bills.
If you’re already feeling stressed about money before your wedding, chances are you’ll continue to feel that way afterward.
How to alleviate: As long as you can be honest with each other about your spending and what you can realistically afford, you’ll be in good shape.
Over-Planning and Post-Wedding Regrets
Whether did your own flowers and were not happy with the results, hand-lettered your own invitations, or hired a DJ or live band that didn’t turn out to be amazing, post-wedding depression is normal if you don’t let go of little things. You’re not alone.
For many couples, the wedding planning process is fraught with pre-wedding stress. And once the big day finally arrives, it can lead into “I told you so” or “I wish we would have…” territory.
Don’t get too worked up about the little details when it comes to your wedding. Yes, every component is important, but at the end of the day, what really matters is that you and your spouse are married. The rest is just noise.
How to alleviate: Talk through your expectations with your partner, and don’t sweat the small stuff. Own the decisions you made during the planning process, and don’t look back.
You had a perfect wedding but are still critical
It’s natural to feel a little down after your wedding. But even if your wedding was flawless, you may find yourself feeling critical of yourself, your spouse, or even your vendors.
One of the main reasons can be that you are still full of ideas and momentum, and your brain remains in overdrive instead of enjoying what you have just achieved and congratulating yourself.
A wedding is a one-time and one-shot-to-get-it-right event, and you may have put too much pressure on yourself to make your wedding perfect that now you are left feeling deflated.
How to alleviate: make peace with your critical mind, reflect on only what went well, and be grateful for it.
Remember, a Little Bit Of post-wedding vacuum is inevitable
Regardless of the excitement surrounding your wedding, there’s almost always a sense of letdown once everything is concluded.
After being at the center of attention for months, it’s easy to feel disempowered when stripped of your titles as bride & groom. Family and friends don’t feel enticed to follow every step of your journey any longer.
This is normal but can leave you feeling isolated and lost.
How to alleviate: your wedding day is just the beginning of your marriage, not the end. You are no longer bride & groom but husband & wife.
This new title comes with great commitment and new roles to fill.
The key is to be proactive before it hits you like a ton of bricks and have projects for your post-wedding life before the big day even arrives.
After the wedding, what’s next for you?
Strategically plan your honeymoon
After all that wedding planning, a honeymoon might be the perfect way to unwind.
Spending time with your new spouse can be therapeutic without all the wedding distractions.
But be strategic about when you go.
For some couples, taking a trip right after getting married can be a great way to jump into a new chapter of their lives together.
However, it might be better for others to wait a little while before taking the trip. This way, you’ll have something to look forward to and can take your time planning it out. Ultimately, it’s up to the couple to decide what works best for them.
Take the time to find something new to anticipate.
Many months of wedding planning are coming to a crescendo, and you have trained yourself to focus on mostly one thing: the wedding.
Now that it’s over, you might feel a sense of loss or anxiety without anything to focus on.
But this can be an excellent opportunity to find something new to look forward to in your life together.
It could be planning for a future trip, starting a family, starting a home improvement project, or simply taking up a new hobby together.
Don’t let the post-wedding blues get you down
It’s normal to feel a little sad or even regretful after your wedding day.
With the extra time, you can also decide just to relax and enjoy some well-deserved downtime.
You might not feel like it now, but the key is to take the time to recover from all the wedding planning and stress, both mentally and physically.
Even though your wedding day is over, that doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy it.
There are plenty of ways to relive your wedding day and keep the memories alive.
Many couples choose to create a photo album or scrapbook of their big day. This can be a fun project to work on together and give you something physical to look back on in the years to come.
You can also watch your wedding video or listen to your wedding songs. These are all great ways to reflect on your special day and remember all the happy memories.
You may feel a little flat because you are no longer the center of attention or may simply be exhausted from all the planning and excitement.
This is all perfectly normal and to be expected.
Remind yourself that while planning your wedding, you had to crush a surplus of extra work on top of what you have been doing every day, and now it’s time to feel like your old self again.
The important thing is to take the time to rebound from everything, both mentally and physically.
And don’t forget to find something new to look forward to in your life together. This way, you can start off your union on the right foot.